How to: Properly Slap a Woman

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Suggestions for NAACP Awards

Every year the NAACP Awards acknowledges individuals who through various means represent and advance the Black community. In that same spirit 5RM nominates the following individuals for awards:




Maury Povich- Award for Uniting Black Families. Maury has devoted his daytime T.V show to uniting families through paternity test. While his show does not discriminate the fact that the majority of guest are young black couples cannot go unnoticed.



Patrick Riley- Leading Black Men to Championships. No other person black or white has lead more Black men to success, fame, money and trophy's than NBA Coach Patrick Riley.




President Bill Clinton- America's first black president. Plays saxophone, loves thick white women and hates on black people who are smarter than him, considers them BOUGHY!




President George Bush- Self sacrifice- George Bush highlighted the fact that black people are not what is wrong with this country. In 8 years in office he has gone farther than any other to prove that ignorance and incompetence are color blind.


And Finally


Gov. Sarah Palin- Unity Award- for uniting all people of all races of various religious backgrounds to vote for a black man to lead this United States.

Idiots driving in bad weather

Every year a new crop of douche bags get licenses to drive like assholes on the roads of the country. In the tri-state particularly in bad weather its easy to spot thse pricks- just look for the souped up import with 6 inches of snow on the roof with tints fish tailing to get out of parking space. These "ignant" motherfuckers are the ones with street racing tires on ice slicked roads smashing into cars, trucks and medians stopping traffic for the next 5 hrs when everyone else is trying to get to work or home in one piece. Here's the PSA you P.O.S out there- SLOW THE FUCK DOWN- Grand Theft Auto is a video game, not a method of training- you can't hit restart after you crack your skull open on your "racing" steering wheel and the paramedics gotta go looking in the road for your brain chunks (which are hard to see in the snow)

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FAT WOMEN PLEASE...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD....

If your a BBW, PLUMP, VOLUPTOUS, SUPER THICK.. in other words if you can ONLY shop at Lane Bryant or Ashley Stewart or cannot clearly identify your waist from your hips or knee/elbow joints - Please DO NOT wear any all brown outfits such as sweats or tights. You look like walking lumps of DOOO DOOO!!

This has been a 5RM Public Service Announcement.
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Jizz in my pants